Coming to select cinemas and on-demand from 1st November, Cellar Door certainly looked interestingly ominous from the trailer, with a couple who acquire a wonderful new home, on the condition that they must not open the locked cellar door. It’s an intriguing-sounding idea, but unfortunately, the final result falls way, way short of the mark.
The rather rushed setup initially sets off warning bells. John and Sera (Scott Speedman and Jordana Brewster) are discussing colour options for a nursery, in preparation for the arrival of their new baby. Another scene shows us that Sera is a teacher, while another shows John working as an architect, with a colleague who he appears to have recently had an affair with. We see Sera suffering from a miscarriage at home, unable to contact John who is out working and has his mobile phone turned off. And then they’re both looking for a new house that’s out of town and away from the recent bad memories.
After walking out of another house that doesn’t tick all their boxes, the estate agent informs the couple that she can put them in touch with a guy who “knows all the available properties in town” and specialises in matching the right people with their perfect property (surely that should be her job?). Keen to meet him, they set off immediately.
Driving up the long drive to a luxurious house, they are met by “the guy” in question, Emmett (Laurence Fishburne), who welcomes them into his home. Emmett talks with fondness about the history of the house, how it once was a vibrant family home for him, his wife and their daughter. He describes how he likes to get to know people, to match them with their ideal home, and they end up staying for dinner and drinks. Then Emmett insists that they stay the night, but when they get up the next morning, Emmett is gone, leaving behind a letter to John and Sera. In the letter, he tells them that the house is now theirs for free, furniture and all. The only catch is that they must never open the cellar door. And if they do, they immediately lose the house.
As I mentioned earlier, everything so far feels very rushed, presumably to try and mask some of the plausibility issues. Many scenes feel underdeveloped, cut short to try and quickly move the story on. All of that could be forgiven though if the remainder of the story were up to the task.
John and Sera quickly settle into their new home, throwing a party to show it off to friends and colleagues. A guy appears on their lawn during the party and tells them they need to burn the house down, so it’s clear that the house is bad news. But then from there, it’s all just a standard drama featuring characters we’re not particularly invested or interested in. John gets accused of sexual harassment by the colleague he had an affair with, but doesn’t tell Sera about it. Instead, he spends days and weeks out running, without Sera realising he’s not at work. He becomes obsessed with thoughts about what could be down in the cellar, and generally just behaves like an idiot.
And then there’s a twist towards the end. Only it’s nothing that’s directly related to the cellar door, and certainly nothing that turns the film around or injects some excitement either. And the whole thing just ends rather flatly and disappointingly.
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Web developer by day, with a movie and TV watchlist that continues to grow as much as my spare time reduces! My favourite movie is Inception and, despite what everyone says, I do not have a man-crush on Tom Cruise.