Murder on the Orient Express (2017)
This review is possibly a little unfair, as I actually managed to fall asleep watching Murder On The Orient Express. In a busy cinema, early evening on a Sunday. I’ve only ever managed to do this a couple of times previously – once, while watching a midnight screening of Star Wars: The Force Awakens (I’m an old man, it was way past my bedtime). Another occasion was during the last Alvin and the Chipmunks movie while watching with my daughter (and I quite rightly got a dig in the ribs from her when she caught me out).
Unfortunately for me though, Kenneth Branaghs lavish retelling of this classic murderer mystery was all style and no substance. Branagh himself is actually very good and hugely entertaining as the worlds greatest detective, Hercule Poirot. However, most of the remaining all star cast just seem wasted in their roles and I just felt like I was watching a big glossy BBC detective drama on a Sunday evening rather than a thrilling cinematic experience.
I made it through the setup and the murder itself. I also made it through some of the questioning of the many suspects too. But I think that’s where my body gave up. I don’t think I missed much though, and I was awake again in time for the ridiculous reveal and the explanation as to why whodunit actually dunit, but overall this was just a pretty big disappointment for me.
My watch-list of movies and TV shows continues to grow, while my spare time continues to shrink. Occasionally though, I’ll manage to tick one off the list, and then try to come up with some words about it that make me sound as though I know what I’m talking about. “Once he has discovered something, he wants to be off onto the next thing, rather than spending time and elaborating” – snippet from my primary school report, confirming that I am, and always have been, easily distracted.